Apologies for the radio silence everyone but I took a much-needed break to visit one of my best friends, Kat, who recently moved out to live in Franklin, Tennessee. It’s an absolutely beautiful and peaceful place with rolling hills and breathtaking countryside views.
My trip out there couldn’t have come at a better time. It has now been 8 months since I discovered the cancer had returned in my lymph nodes and from that very moment, I have been working like a dervish in order to take as many positive experiences from this as I can, while helping others at the same time.
As you may know I have embarked on a healing journey using raw food, juicing, detoxification, meditation, yoga and visualisation as the main principles. There is no one direct route to “Perfect Health” – I am pretty much making this up as I go along. And naturally it’s not all plain sailing – infact, none of it has been plain sailing. There is no guidebook I can turn to that can guarantee to heal me of cancer providing I do A, B and C. If there was, it would the bestselling book of all time! I had reached a point where I was beginning to feel slightly exhausted by it all. Everything that I eat or drink, I prepare. I make endless trips food shopping and I do all the juicing and the blogging and the writing and the teaching and the reading and the coaching. And while I love it all – I needed a break from being “Polly healing herself from cancer”.
While I believe in certain truths regarding how organic, whole, natural food can heal; I’m no psychic and I certainly haven’t been visited by the Ghost of Christmas Future so I really have no idea how this will all turn out. But at the same time I have an overwhelming feeling that it’s all going to be okay – that I am going to be okay. I have faith that what I am doing is right for me and that keeps me dedicated to my cause. (That and the fact that I am the most stubborn person I know and I refuse to be dictated to by some wayward cells – I mean who do they think they are to tell me my time is up?! Honestly!) Actually, I’ll be more than okay – I have the best and the most exciting and fulfilling life to look forward to but right now I’m busy being happy now as that’s what I’m experiencing right this minute and is all I can be 100% sure of.
While in America I did find it tricky to stay on the straight, narrow and raw! Of course I was tempted and yes I did indulge in a few glasses of red wine which I couldn’t help but berate myself for. But you know what? I did the best I could. Had I not have had cancer I very much doubt I would have taken this path. Giving up all cooked food and alcohol over night is tough, especially when you have been brought up eating lasagne, shepherd’s pie and sunday roasts!
My very wise friend reminded me that the self-inflicted stress about drinking that wine or eating something cooked is probably more harmful than just having it and forgetting about it. I have always been incredibly hard on myself – I can’t help that, it’s who I am. Or can I? What I’ve realised is that it is so important to stay on your own side whatever crisis or situation you are confronted with. You have to back yourself and love yourself regardless. I don’t mean to get all soppy on you but it’s imperative that you go easy on yourself and love yourself for whatever you do. Show yourself forgiveness and compassion for you are only human after all. We are all on this journey of life finding our own way. We aren’t born knowing it all – our purpose on this earth is to remember who we really are, to connect to our best self – what I call our “superself” – the best version of us that we can be and for us to do that, sometimes we must experience who we are not. Occasionally this involves us doing something or being someone that we wish we hadn’t done or been and that’s okay.
So the next time you feel you let yourself down, show yourself compassion and forgiveness, as you would of someone that you love, remind yourself of your wonderful qualities and live in that very moment because life is just too damn short to live with guilt, fear or any other negative thought that our lizard brain is fooling us into believing.
Don’t forget, you are only human and finding your own way, making it up as you go along, just like me. And that’s okay.